My Mother's Journey - Part 4

Before you read the next installment of My Mother's Journey, please read the previous installments...

My Mother's Journey - Part 1
My Mother's Journey - Part 2
My Mother's Journey - Part 3

I finished my last post on my journey through David's battle with cancer with that wonderful scripture, found in 2 Corinthians 1:20:

"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ. And so through him the 'Amen' is spoken by us to the glory of God."

In the weeks that have followed since, I have spent much time in prayer, seeking the Lord, waiting on Him and calling out to Him. Every day He has opened to me wonderful promises in His Word for David's healing, words of great encouragement, each day emphasising what He has already spoken to my heart and then giving fresh promises from His Word. There are too many to list here, but as I read through the Gospel accounts and the book of Acts again I was amazed how they are filled with the miraculous healing ministry of Jesus, continued on through his disciples. I've been reading the psalms (particularly those of David) and again been amazed at how many times David called out to the Lord for His miraculous intervention in his physical being and each time the Lord answered.

The Scripture is full of promises from the Lord to heal his people. It seemed that as I prayed and cried out to the Lord I would begin to read the Word and there would be the answer - His promise of healing. Having since read David's post of February 7th - "Entering into a Daily Conversation with God" - I recognise now that the Lord has been "in conversation" with me all this time.

Through these weeks there have also been times of the enemy attacking my faith but, not allowing myself to entertain these thoughts, each time the Lord has brought His promises back to my heart and my faith has again risen and, rather than having a negative effect, the attack has caused it to become stronger.

Two times, however, these challenges of the Enemy were overwhelming. Once as a friend, concerned about David, began talking of the overwhelming power of cancer and how many she knew who have been taken by it. The "dagger" of fear struck hard into my spirit. The whole next day it remained there. As I cried out to the Lord that night the "still, small voice" of the Lord spoke gently to my heart...

"Whose word do you believe?"

It was so simple and so clear, I smiled to myself - "Of course, Lord - yours". All fear left.

The second time was just 6 days ago...February 14th. Paul and I were out for dinner together. The restaurant was crowded, filled with young couples celebrating Valentines Day. I knew David had taken Elena out for this special evening and as I thought about him, suddenly, unexplainably, uncontrollable tears began to flow. Try as I might I could not control them. I went quickly to the ladies room where, fortunately, I was alone. I sobbed my heart out to the Lord. As I wept, the thought came to my mind "Are you willing to let him go?" I did not know if this was the Lord or not. I knew this would be the counsel some would give me. I was again "in conversation" with the Lord. I knew I had to be honest. "If that is you, Lord...no, I am not willing. I will not let him go". It's hard to put into words what followed. All I know is I had a sense that the Lord smiled and the words came strongly to my heart...

"It's the children's bread".

I immediately remembered the account of the Canaanite woman who came to Jesus to ask Him to heal her daughter (Matthew 15:21-28). How nothing would deter her. You will remember she was first ignored by the Lord (verse 23), rejected by the disciples (verse 23) and finally seemingly insulted by the Lord (verse 26). But her persistence resulted in the Lord answering her request and her daughter being healed. She would not take no for an answer and Jesus commended her for the persistence of her faith. I knew this was why I had sensed the Lord's smile at my determination not to let David go. Persistent faith never gives up! "It's the children's bread" was how the Lord described healing to the Canaanite woman and I knew the Lord was saying that healing belonged to David by right because he is a child of God.

Two other accounts came to mind at the same time...the man who persistently knocked on his friend's door until he gave him the bread he needed for his guests (Luke 11:5-10) and the widow who persistently "bothered" the unjust judge until he gave her justice (Luke 18:1-8). For me, the Lord's words in verses 7-8 applied to David's healing...

"And will not God bring about [healing] for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get [healing], and quickly..."

In my mind's eye I saw these three accounts combined and I determined before the Lord to persistently "knock" until I had received "the children's bread" (David's healing). I suddenly understood Jesus' words in Matthew 7:7 as expounded in The Amplified Version, more fully...

"Ask [and keep on asking] and it will be given you; seek [and keep on seeking] and you will find; knock [and keep on knocking] and the door will be opened to you."

I had always understood and experienced faith as ask once and then thank the Lord. And yes, this is true faith in operation. It is faith based on His Word, personally received, and the knowledge that He is faithful to His Word. I have seen the Lord bring many wonderful answers to this kind of faith. But now I was learning another dimension of faith. I had thought that to keep on asking, to keep on knocking, indicated you didn't believe the Lord had heard you, and certainly this would be the case if that is what you believed. But now I realise the "keep on" is also true faith in action. It is faith based on an understanding of who He is. The Canaanite woman didn't give up because she knew Jesus was the Son of David (Matthew 15:22). Her persistence was because she knew who Jesus was. She knew He was the Christ, the Son of God, the one sent to bring salvation, healing and restoration to mankind and, as a Gentile, her faith actually broke the "time barrier" (verse 24).

I have known this truth for so long but suddenly saw it in a dimension I had never seen it before. It was an overwhelming revelation. Joy replaced my tears. I went back to Paul in the restaurant with an understanding of persistent faith like I have never had before.

In my first post I mentioned how, on first receiving the news of David's condition, my cry to the Lord was "I stand on who you are, Lord!" This has been a continual declaration as I have been in prayer but now I understand it in a far greater way. Because the Lord is a holy, righteous, compassionate God, full of love and grace. Because He is the Lord Almighty and all power is in His hands. Because He is the Lord of Heaven and Earth. Because He so loves David He took all David's suffering upon Himself on the Cross. Because of all He has promised and all He has done through the Cross and the Resurrection. Because He is Who He is. Because He is God, I keep on "knocking" in faith until the "children's bread" is in David's hands and the complete manifested healing is his.