Grace in Action

Yesterday was a pretty intense day. I slept through much of the late afternoon and evening, and so I'm now up, wide awake and praying (I've found it better not to fight my sleep patterns but to use them effectively). I'd like to share a little of what happened yesterday, since it provides insight into this stage of my journey with the Lord.

Yesterday afternoon I went into Box Hill Hospital for another CT scan, and then afterwards I broke the five-hour fast (required for the scan) with a special nutritional drink that I was wanting to test out. This drink was a "pre-digested" liquid meal used for geriatric patients who have trouble digesting their meals - OK, no geriatric jokes, please ;-)

I don't know what happened but I had a severely adverse reaction to this drink. Within minutes of drinking the liquid "meal", I was beginning to feel feverish. In another ten minutes, I began to have sharp pains (similar to severe food poisoning). I've had food poisoning before, but this was the most painful episode I have ever had - almost to the point of passing out. As Elena was driving me home, we had to stop while I vomited by the side of the road. At first it was mainly dry retching, but then I vomited up a substance that was probably about 30% food and 70% stomach acid - brilliant yellow, like sulphur. I got home and lay down, experiencing wave after wave of agonising pain. Elena was praying for me, and we also called my parents, who joined us in prayer. After about 40 minutes, the pain began to subside, leaving me obviously exhausted.

This was a scary episode in many ways, particularly for Elena. For it was the first time the serious nature of my condition has really shown its ugly head.

What I particularly want to share at this time, however, is how this experience fits into everything I was sharing with you yesterday. You may remember from my previous post that I let you in on some of my fears, which the Lord has been helping me to face and overcome. The first of those fears was the fear of pain.

Here is a quote from yesterday's post, "Facing Fear":

"I've experienced intense, sustained pain in the past, and I must say that although it's not a major fear for me, the fear of pain is still a factor I've had to face. But once again, faith, hope and love have been the antidotes to this fear. I have faith that God will be there for me when I experience pain and that he can heal me. I have hope that even if I have to face pain, God will eventually bring me through to complete victory. And I have love - a sure knowledge that God's presence will be with me, even during times of suffering."

Although yesterday's encounter with pain fell into the "I don't want to go through that again" category, it also served to prove something to me. I have nothing to fear from any pain I might have to face in the future. Even in the midst of the worst of the pain, I had such a clear sense of the presence of the Lord. Like I said in yesterday's post, my faith is 1) that God "will be there for me when I experience pain and that he can heal me", and 2) that "God's presence will be with me, even during times of suffering." I can testify that this was true for me yesterday.

So yesterday's experience was a real growth point for me. I now know that God is true to his word in this most basic area of fear - and I thus have total faith for the future. I am truly "more than a conqueror" in this area because not only do I have faith that God will rescue and heal me, I also know that, even if I do need to go through the suffering of pain, God's grace will also be there for me.

In effect, I learned yesterday that the fear of pain no longer has a hold over me. Praise the Lord! And this episode further helps to put into sharp contrast the wonder of the healing that is already underway and that will be accomplished in my life. And it also underlines the nature of my walk with the Lord.

You may remember that yesterday I wrote how, at the beginning of the day, the Lord had prepared me for the day with his word (see yesterday's post, "My Daily Bread"). He had given me a number of scriptural promises, of which two in particular now stand out. Isaiah 43:1-2 says:

"But now, this is what the LORD says - he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Isn't it amazing how at the beginning of the day you do not know what in store for you later in the day, and yet the Lord can prepare you fully for what is to come? Right at the beginning of the day, I had the promise from the Lord that if I "pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you" and if I "walk through the fire, you will not be burned..." And that was my experience! Little did I know at the beginning of the day that I would be passing through the fire of pain, and would experience the almost overwhelming flood of physical agony. Yet I "passed through" with a clear sense of the presence of the Lord!

The other scripture of relevance is found in Isaiah 41:10,13:

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand...For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

What came out of my experience yesterday afternoon was a clear understanding that the presence of the Lord makes all the difference during times of pain. He did uphold me with his righteous right hand. He did take hold of me by my right hand and say, "Do not fear; I will help you." And what a difference that makes. I have witnessed God's grace in action in a most practical way.